Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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