Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
