All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
