It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My balls are so social today.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
