You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
