This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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