what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude. I can hear the air.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
