Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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