He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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