oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
