i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
