How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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