Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
