swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize