So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
