Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
