toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
