i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
