Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
