It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
