I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
