I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
