he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
