My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
