im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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