there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
