Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
