Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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