whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
