Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
