I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
