he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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