addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
