Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i believe in u and ur pee
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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