That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
