In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
