i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
50% drunk capacity currently
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize