dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize