once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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