She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
