I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
