32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
