Say something about gay babies.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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