i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
