You really coming over, don't trick.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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