how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
