dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
