Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
