Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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