I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
