and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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