Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
