HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
