The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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