I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
