This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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