I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize