My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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