Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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