Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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