Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize