Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just google imaged poop.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
