Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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