I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
BRING THE BAGELS
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
