all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
