u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
