You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
